Right to Arm Bears Proposed in the United States

The Board of Directors of the National Rifle Association has today succeeded in securing the necessary support it needs in congress to propose an amendment to the Constitution of the United States of America. The Amendment, which if it is ratified by the States would become the 28^th to the Constitution, introduces a right to arm bears. The amendment, known officially as the Ursine Armament amendment has secured the support of a group of senators and representatives from cross party lines, and is due to be introduced to the floor in just under two weeks’ time. The President of the National Rifle Association stated that ‘This is clearly a great progression in our democracy. I believe that it is a travesty that no such right has been introduced in the past. Even bears need to right to defend themselves against outside interference.’ The Bill would permit all bears living in America the right to wield arms, up to and including low level explosive ordnance.

 

The Bill has already met with concern from other congressmen. The Senator for Michigan described the idea as ‘plain idiocy’, and the Representative for Ohio made a statement saying: ‘This proposed amendment is clearly ridiculous. If we’re arming bears what next? Dolphins with machine guns? Alligators with grenades?’ Reaction on the streets has been equally divided. A poll of one thousand ordinary citizens suggests a 50-30 split on support with the remainder undecided. Supporters of the action claim that in states where bears are endemic, the measure will increase security to unprecedented levels. A statement issued by the NRA said: ‘Would you want to face down a bear? How about a bear with an AK-47? Less appealing isn’t it? Clearly this will lead to a decrease in violent and other crime, particularly in forested areas, and an increase in public safety.’

 

To pass into law, the Bill must first be proposed by a two-thirds vote Congress, before being presented to the States for ratification, where it will require a three-quarters majority, to be placed alongside its’ forebears in the Constitution. Congress votes on the bill on 10^th August.