American President Announces Fleet Cutbacks

The White House today announced major fleet cutbacks , in accordance with it’s new budget constraints, in a move slammed by some political commentators and military analysts as provocative and dangerous. The President said in a statement that the fleet will be cut down from the current 280 battleships and carriers to three bathtubs, a rubber dinghy and a water butt. This funding cut comes at the end of a week of slashes for america, in which all departements have suffered major budget cuts. Announced in a statement on Saturday, NASA has been reduced to a shed in the White House back garden, and the CIA reduced to two pairs of binoculars and a black suit. This has led some to speculate that the American economy is close to collapse. No naval official was available to comment.