Statistics Questioned in Newspapers

Statistics collected by British newspapers have been questioned today as the Daily Mail publishes a statistic that allegedly demonstrates that 96% of all foreigners live in the United Kingdom. The latest development comes after a string of questionable statistics in British newspapers which have been criticised by the Office of National Statistics as ‘flawed’.

The Mail’s headline follows the revelation by the Telegraph last week that 92% of all Britons think about Princess Diana ‘at least once a minute’, and that the late princess is more missed than Marathon bars. Daniel Crimp, Professor of Statistics at the University of East Anglia, suggests that the statistics are ‘erroneous and ridiculous’, and that the papers’ collection methods ‘may need refinement’. In a statement issued last night, the ONS stated: ‘The statistics given in newspapers are consistently flawed, inaccurate, and in many cases, downright ridiculous’. Responses to the criticism from newspapers have been varied. The Daily Mail issued a statement blaming immigrants working in their statistics office, the Guardian issued a wall chart mapping the quality of statistics over the media, the Times printed a full page photograph of Rupert Murdoch smiling, and the Sun contained a statement from it’s resident statistician; Olivia, 38 from Penge stating unequivocally that ‘This complaint is merely a nefarious personal irruption’.

The Director of the Office of National Statistics indicated that a complaint would be made to the Government over the data, which he said was dangerous and could be offensive to parties featured. The Home Secretary is yet to make a comment, but is expected to raise the issue in the House, and to question the necessity of certain ‘dubious’ statistics included in papers, such as the figures published in the Mirror that supposedly show that one in three couples has two people in it, and those in the Mail that suggest that three-quarters of men over fifty are immigrant paedophiles ‘intent on child-slaughter’. The Press Complaints Commission is expected to make a statement at 17:30 tomorrow evening on the debate.